Behold:

This is Adventures in Film Theory. Enter, if you dare. Or turn tail and run. In either case, the stink of these adventures is already on you.

Let's Make a Movie on an Undervalued Property!

These are all books, so there’s that. The old pulp-wood page-turner.

Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy. One of the best novels ever written, and one that will go down in history as being in the top 100 books written by an American. It’s about the Glanton Gang, who were paid by the U.S. government to collect American Indian scalps. The story is a period Western, and unrelentingly bleak. There are no “good guys,” and life is hard, brutal, and short. Many directors have been attached to a film project based on this novel, but because the source material is so epic and dark, it has been considered among “unfilmable” books.

Gravity’s Rainbow, by Thomas Pynchon. Another one of the most brilliant novels in modern history, and another considered to be unfilmable. The novel is centered around the World War II exploits of Lieutenant Tyrone Slothrop. A German V-2 rocket lands, every time, in the exact same spot as his latest sexual encounter, leading him to become paranoiac. He links his erections to destruction. In an effort to solve this mystery, Slothrop goes MIA through the post-war insanity of Europe, being chased by a range of peculiar characters. It’s stylized, hilarious, and pure genius. Also, long. In a perfect world, this would be the next Game of Thrones, a serialized hit. Ya listening, HBO?

Exploits and Opinions of Dr. Faustroll, Pataphysician, by Alfred Jarry. This one needs the Pixar treatment. Well, maybe not Pixar, but perhaps some independent animator. Written by Jarry, a French eccentric famous for walking a lobster through the streets of Paris (among other things), his book details the adventures of Dr. Faustroll as he hops in a rowboat and rows through the streets of France.

Muppets from Space: a Meditation on a Godless Universe

The Most Single-Tear-Jerking Scene in Cinema History